100 Jokes……the last 50 (Finally!!)

Zoiks.....yeah yeah...I know I promised the rest of these 50 bad boy Jokes a lomg time ago....but good things come to those who wait...enjoy!! I have noticed during review...that I repeated a few jokes...but all in all I think the standard is pretty high. You can catch the other 50 on this blog post. Now that this is all over.....the next comic adventure will be based around the best comic creations...so watchout for #comicidols !!

#49 Freudians say one thing but always mean their mother

#48 what do you call a man with a spade on his head? Dug.

#47 what do you a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

#46 what cheese isn’t your? Nacho Cheese

#45 Fella walks into a doctors with a steering wheel attached to his groin.Doc:”that looks annoying”.Fella:”Its driving me nuts”.

#44 Fella walks into a Doctors wearing nothing but clingfilm. Doc:”I can clearly see your nuts”

#43 watched a documentary on shipbuilding last night. Riveting.

#42 guy walks into a doctor singing Delilah.The doctor tells him its called Tom Jones syndrome.”is it common?” “It’s not unusual”

#41 Guy on a plane hears “your so sexy” but cant see anybody.Disturbed he asks the stewerdess about it “they’re the complimentary nuts”

#40 Who are the nicest people in hospitals when the Ultrasound lot are away? The Hip Replacement Team

#39 Who are the nicest people in hospitals? The ultrasound lot.

#38 Went looking to buy a pair of camouflage trousers the other day….but couldn’t find any.

#37 fella goes into a Library. “Got any books on suicide?” Librarian “We used to have loads….but they never come back.”

#36 How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface

#35 why do husbands die before their wives? Because they want to.

#34 what do you call a woman standing in the middle of a Tennis court? Annette

#33 How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2…but I’ve no idea how they got in there.

#32 “Frudiens say one thing but always mean their mother”.

#31 “Hear about the shrimp that went to prawn cocktail party? Pulled a muscle”

#29 I knocked on the Russian Embassy door today. “Is Len in?”

#27 Rough day.This morning,put a shirt on and a button fell off.Picked up my briefcase – handle came off.I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.

#26 My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

#25 I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

#24 I was so poor growing up if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.

#23 How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? With Jammin.

#22 How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? Wave to him.

#21 Where do you go to find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left him.

#20 Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy.

#19 two television aerials get married. The ceremony was rubbish….but the reception was fantastic!

#18 just finished watching 5 films with my wife back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the screen

#17 Did you hear about David Hasslehoff? Changed his name to just Hoff. Couldnt be bothered with the Hassle.

#16 Why do Skodas have heating on the back window?To warm your hands when you push them.

#15 Why did the Mexican push his wife down the stairs? Tequila .

#14 What did the dentist get for an award? A little plaque!!

#13 I hate theft in multi story car parks. It’s just wrong on so many levels!`

#12 How many Freudians does it take to change a bulb?2 – one to hold the penis….I mean ladder…and the other to screw it in.

#11 Why did the cheese lose the fight with a stone?Because the Roquefort back

#10 hear the one about the boiled egg? Can’t beat it !

#9 How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram

#8 I’ve been attending eavesdroppers anonymous for years. Not that they’d know about it.

#7 what do you call two Spanish Basketball players? Juan an Juan. (It’s a thinker that one!!)

#6 why did the Mexican Push his wide down the stairs? Tequila

#5 I learnt today that ‘Latte’ means ‘boner’ in Germany. And I learnt that the hard way.

#4 what did the gay cheese say when he saw himself in the mirror? Halou-mi

#3 How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Some number you’ve probably never heard of

#2 Man walks into a Butcher -“if you can touch the meat on the ceiling you can have it for free”. “sorry..the steaks are too high”

……well…dues to a clerical error…the list starts at #2…but you get the idea.

 

 

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